Must A Aspiring Influencer Pal Cease Using People for Content?

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?